


look at that dog

by Black, smooshkin



Series: KingSlayer [11]
Category: Deus Ex (Video Games), Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Genre: Anxiety, Low key kind of, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Panic Attacks, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black/pseuds/Black, https://archiveofourown.org/users/smooshkin/pseuds/smooshkin
Summary: (that dog!)





	look at that dog

**Author's Note:**

> I love this rp honestly >>  
> I cannot stand David Sarif, I say sarcastically, motioning to him with both arms to proclaim my appreciation for him taking such good care of Adam.
> 
> The title: [that dog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE)
> 
> Smoosh starts with David, I follow with Adam

= * =

Iran was hot today. Sarif didn't know much about dogs, but he knew enough for this.  
  
He followed Hassan, the man Ranier had introduced to him months back. They'd become fast friends and Sarif called him up whenever he needed anything particularly fine or exotic from the middle-east.  
  
A casual conversation over the phone had piqued David's interest over a kind of _dog_ . A sighthound from ancient Susa, Mesopotamia.  
  
The information resonated with something in his chest and he pursued it. Hassan agreed to find him one of the finer ones.  
  
David gently reminded him, now that he was here in-person to pick up the animal, that it's disposition was more important than its parentage.  
  
"Oh- yes! These are the friendliest! There are two boys- and a girl. The man says, you take the one you'd like."  
  
"Thanks, Hassan."  
  
David felt so out of place here on the outskirts of Tehran. Animals everywhere, unpaved roads, but Hassan assured him; These were the best animals of their kind and could only be found here.  
  
They round the corner of the house where he was led and, through a hefty wooden gate.  
  
"Here they are." Hassan says, but David saw them before he was introduced.  
  
Three long-legged puppies stomped lightly about in the dust.  
  
David stares. Animals were a bit of a mystery to him and yet, as they ran over to Hassan's whistling, he decided they were perfect.

He clicks his tongue and- one approaches, lifting her paws high to his extended hand and he deigns to kneel in the dust. She licks her little snout and tucks her tail.  
  
She's perfect- he almost cries.  
  
She doesn't know what to do with his hand and he's not quite sure either. He starts by scrunching his fingers against her cheek and is delighted when she wiggles, plodding closer.  
  
Yeah. This one.  
  
He gets to both knees and strokes down to her slender shoulders. Hassan grins as David pulls her close.  
  
"You." He contains her wiggling with a hug around the neck.  
  
"You're going to make my boy happy again." He strokes her long face and she sits obediently, eyebrows rolling as her eyes flicker over his when he leans back to examine her.  
  
"You're gonna make my boy very happy."

= * =

Adam, Adam.  
Adam, Adam, Adam,  
  
Oh, Adam.  
  
You sad, sad thing.  
  
He’s sitting on the couch in a pair of sweatpants - wrapped in a blanket and hunched over. shoulders tucked tight in on himself and his eyes don’t ache but he almost wishes they could. then he’d at least feel justified in being so fucking tired.  
  
…  
  
he’s been. he’s been sleeping on the couch ever since - yeah. That. Cope later. He’s trying to cope later and he’s struggling to still even saying the word  
  
rape. yeah. assault. There is it. They tore into his shoulder with a drill and they tore into his security with claws and pulled and pulled and pulled. He’s angry - He’s angry with himself because he’s letting them win. he’s letting them win because David can’t touch him without the nausea bubbling up. lurching and churning. sick sick sick. sick.  
  
He hates it. He hates himself?  
He hates  
a lot of things right now.  
  
Adam tugs his knees closer and closes his eyes, resting his cheek against one and swallowing. He wanted Sarif. He wanted that touch. He wanted that love he wanted that affection he wanted Sarif to fuck him and erase all the -  
  
He can’t help but to tilt over onto his makeshift bed and shiver under the weight of all the heat and mania in his stomach. Adam just tugs another blanket over himself, content to stay here, here for now. The TV murmurs with a baseball game and he’s only half paying attention.  
  
Hands, he - keeps feeling hands --  
  
Stop, stop it Adam. This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t be this bothered - it fucking happened. It happened and you can - you can, you can push past this and fucking _stop_ , Adam. Adam. Listen to me, It’s okay.  
  
It’s okay.  
  
You, You’re okay. You need to heal. This isn’t all about coping.  
  
The crowd at the game cheers wild over, something.  
Adam swallows tight and turns his head into the fabric, deciding sleep may be his best course of action.  
  
If he wasn’t plagued by nightmares, that is.

= * =

He had Malik fly them home. The dog was good. It was only about two hours or so until they saw the Indian coast again.  
  
He told her about his hunt for the dog. Told her... why he was getting one. Told her what had happened.  
  
Everyone knew. Pritchard had been eerily silent over it when he'd been told, quickly looking down at the floor for the remainder of the story before whispering a quiet 'my god' and David knew he was disturbed. He promised to be extra vigilant henceforth.  
  
Promised that he'd be there to the bitter end if David would just-- fight again.  
  
He would.  
  
But first, dressing the wounds.  
  
He shoulders the front door open quietly.  
  
"It's just me." He says into the house, so as to not startle Adam.  
  
He was carrying both a dog and a briefcase somehow. He sets the dog down and she looks around, but sits and watches him as he takes his coat off after setting the case down under the coat-hooks. David squeezes the collar of Adam's.  
  
He found that he couldn't... touch him. This was the closest he could get right now as he drags his hand down the back of it, imagining it was the Adam's gorgeous back instead.  
  
It prompts him to glance at her. The dog. I hope you can fix this, he thinks.

He bends to pick her up and, hearing the subdued din of the TV, he rounds the corner with her to see if his poor boy was haunting the sofa.  
  
He frowns to find that he was. Oh, Adam...  
  
The dog was intent on the other presence in the room. David was impressed as she keeps her eyes on the sofa as he carries her around it. He keeps his distance.  
  
It hurt to do so. It hurt so badly to keep his distance. But he wouldn't let Adam see how much it hurt.  
  
"Adam...?" He asks gently. "I-...I brought you something."  
  
He hopes Adam would...be happy. He'd seen the man's photographs. He desperately hoped he'd made the right choice as he knelt to set _her_ down and, seemingly reading his thoughts, plods her long-legged way to the edge of the sofa and snuffles at Adam.

= * =

Malik had been - quiet.  
Mulling over the story as it had been told to her - some flash of recognition in her eyes. “I know he always loved Kubrick,” she’d say, “A dog would mean a lot to him, David.”  
  
So gladly, _gladly_ she flew him.  
  
A grin high on her lips as she watched him return with it, “Oh! he’s going to love you!” Fingers on the dog’s cheeks and scratching, gathering her skin and ruffling her feathered ears.  
  
Everyone knew - now. They would have found Koller quiet for quite a few days. Very quiet - holed up in his apartment by the window to look out over Mumbai, a dog eared Shakespeare collection clasped gently in one hand, a lit blunt in the other. Adam’s pained barks and murmurs of _please don’t touch me_ in the back of a shaking car are…  
haunting. yeah, yeah that was a word for it.  
that was a word, alright.  
  
He’d steal out into India a few days later - to pick work back up. Far, far more wary - but determined. Careful now to hide himself a little better, he didn’t want to draw more attention to David - not right now.  
  
Adam startles as David comes home and then -  
It’s David, so he relaxes. His eyes close again and he tugs the blanket closer. further around him. Maybe he can hide the shame, he thinks. God - that sounds pitiful. You fucking hate this. You hate that you want him and yet you can’t have him - the festering writhe that follows his hands is -  
  
He’s belly-sick. He turns his face into the gorgeous couch. Cope later - they told him; they neglected to inform him how hard it was to attach, again. To feel normal, to click the pieces back into place when they _no longer fit_ . He’s mad at himself for being this pitiful.  
  
The comment swims through his head - he keeps his eyes closed; “You brought me something?”

Everything is quiet for a few moments and he hears the soft sound of something _moving_ and he’s wondering if David is walking on eggshells - again. If he’s this scared of triggering some sort of reaction and Adam you fucking chased him off you told him not to touch you i mean you aren’t even sleeping in be-  
  
His eyes snap open at the unmistakable sound of a dog - what? It’s snuffling at him and he abruptly sits up, one of the blankets sliding off his shoulders to pool behind him and he holds the other to his chest. “That’s a _dog_ ,” he says, a little dazed - the surprise and wonder seeping into his voice.  
  
She and all her legs stumble back as he moves abruptly and he’s instantly leaning forward, hands out and attempting to soothe her. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” she has all his attention right now and his chest warbles with some crackling emotion, “Come here, _come_ here.” the blanket falls from his chest and he’s curling his augged fingers against her cheek. under her jaw. and then her belly as she finally creeps closer.  
tail wagging.  
  
“You got me a dog?” His voice wavers, out of character, and oh he hates the sound of that vulnerability as he’s pulling her into his arms and, and. and. his arms tense around her before holding her up and out to look over the pretty thing. “I…”

= * =

David's eyes were on Adam, less so the dog. He stayed knelt on the floor where he'd set her and watches the enchanting scene unfold.  
  
He prayed he picked the right dog. Prayed that Adam wanted one- though he supposed he could have Hassan take her back...  
  
He hears Adam croon at it and reach to scoop her up onto the sofa with him and his lips curl into a lopsided grin as he tries not to smile _too_ broadly.  
  
The dog was innocuous and innocent, keeping her head low, curled tail bouncing around behind her as she was held up.  
Her eyes would go one way; Adam would speak and she'd wag her tail.  
She'd look the other way, Adam would get her attention and she'd wag again.  
  
David reaches up to squeeze his own jaw thoughtfully; And sigh. Good...  
  
"I- yeah.. I figured-- You'd.." David stood up suddenly and swallows tears that had suddenly threatened to well as his thought formed. He buys himself a moment by circling the couch- out of Adam's view.  
  
"I figured you'd need some company while I--"  
  
Sleep alone. Watch you suffer from the other end of the house.  
  
"Uh- You know. I- Well, look- anyways... She's all yours I- I have some uh- dog toys an' her collar in the briefcase. Had Hassan make it so it's real nice."  
  
He smiles at the back of Adam's head, lingering for a few moments and hoping that little spider of a dog would cheer him up.  
  
"The dabbawalla should be bringing some meat this afternoon- I'm sure she can have some of that."  
  
He watches a little longer, grins and turns to leave them alone, quickly wiping his eyes.  
  
You're pathetic, David.

= * =

He looks into her eyes.  
And  
And smiles.  
  
Soft and low.  
  
She squirms and Adam murmurs low to her again and she her eyebrows perk, her tail swinging in a lazy wag and Adam. Oh. Is he shaking? his augs clatter a bit and he. pulls her close, again. Cradling her lanky frame against his chest.  
  
Everything is quiet in his head.  
  
For the first time since -  
Yeah - since  
  
He.  
He feels something untangle. something loosen. His jaw tightens and David’s words are cotton in his ears. under his teeth. “I…” Her tail wags at his voice and there’s something murdered in his throat. a whine, strangled dead - and yet it still manages to creep out.  
  
“I can’t - can’t believe -”  
  
That you did this for me.  
That you _thought_ to do this for me.  
  
He doesn’t feel so sick. Adam gently rests the dog on his lap and wraps trembling arm around her - She’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. He pulls in a stuttery breath, sounding panicked. his shoulders rattle and he  
  
his voice crackles hushed in a wet, quiet sob. Adam curls forward to bury his face into her and this is the first contact he’s had in - since -- David tried to touch him and his skin shrieked hot and he crawled to the couch and tore himself apart. His eyes are hot and angry; he runs a hand up along her slender chest and swallows tight, trying to

Calm down, Adam.  
You’re okay.  
It’s okay.  
  
_You know he loves you._  
  
“I know,” he suffers into her fur as she squirms, tail thumping as she tries to her head to look at him, concerned - her little voice rumbling out something as she stomps her front paws against his legs. his next pained noise comes out as half a laugh - thick and --  
  
He slowly gets to his feet and tucks her under his arm, wiping his aching fucking eyes across the back of his forearm and he catches David before - yes, yes don’t leave the room. don’t _leave_ , please. a hesitant -  
  
a hesitant arm wraps loose around his lover and Adam buries his face against the side of David’s head, not wanting him to see him like this. But - I can’t believe -  
  
“Thank _you_ ,” His voice gruff and rasping, “Dave - I don’t -- I...I love her.”

= * =

David felt his heart receive another piercing at the quiet sob from the sofa. At...At least that was some harbinger of joy, David.  
  
But he's not sure he's ever heard Adam make over half the sounds he's made _since_ .  
  
He frowns, turns to leave, but hears him shift from the couch and- it's clear that not wanting to be seen _like this_ was on both of their minds, as David quickly turns his head away.  
  
The arm, though- that gets his attention- and he does have to look back. In time to get Adam's bump to the side of the head and he takes a sharp breath.  
  
"Oh- Jeez. Adam..." He didn't know what to do with his hands- which gave him a brief welling of panic under what would ordinarily have been a delightful surprise.  
  
He pets the dog's head instead.  
  
There... She's helped him already, too.  
  
"You're welcome, Adam, it's... Mm- I told you I'd... Do anything for you even if it means an animal in the house."  
  
He chuckles, dog tongue firing off his sensory feedback. He was amused. Years of not having a dog lick his hands and two new models later and he was quite sure he recognized what a dog tongue on the hand felt like still.  
  
"You should uh-- Take the bed, Adam. The dog might appreciate it." He says, looking away again. "I'll do the couch from now on."  
  
He scratches the back of his head as he pulls away, worried that if he lingered near too long, they'd take another step backward.  
  
"I mean-- I'm sure you want her to uh- To imprint on you or whatever it is animals do. A-And-! I want her to see you as an alpha dog or whatever- so don't sleep on the couch, son."  
  
Good. Valid excuse, right?

= * =

“I just - I’ve missed Kubrick,” He admits softly, just between them and he has. go he has. Kubrick always knew when he needed attention, when he needed someone. Megan just moaned about him breaking her decorative vases and Adam sat alone in his place missing  
  
missing his dog.  
_his dog_ .  
It had broken him to learn that - that he wouldn’t be getting Kubrick back. That he didn’t really know what happened to his dog. _his_ dog. He had apologized to that picture a thousand times.  
  
thought of him scared, alone.  
and --  
  
he had always felt a sense of warmth flooding him with those street dogs when he brought them scraps. whatever he could find. watched their bodies wag as he approached, ears perked or pressed to their dusty heads.  
  
Adam had briefly considered asking David if he’d ever want a dog but he didn’t think he’d go for it. Didn’t think Sarif would particularly like a dog around the house - especially a puppy. they can be a bit...much. He’d have to watch her around Sarif’s - well, everything. He didn’t know if she was a chewer or if she’d have accidents or if she was too smart for any of that or -  
  
He just, holds David.  
He - His skin only crawls a little and it’s more of just an itch but he - he wants.  
he can’t help -  
  
but to gently set the dog between them and his other arm finds itself around him too after he tries to pull away. Adam knows he says something about taking the bed but the words are some fuzzy drone in his head. The prickling in his skin gathers behind his ears under his clavicle but he -  
  
kisses. him.  
anyways.  
  
something chaste and soft, a touch of their foreheads and he’s then stepping back. back. his body wound tight, eyes a little more _here_ than they have been, a little more aware. “I…”  
  
Adam bites the side of his tongue - he tries picturing David on the couch and he just can’t. He’s so used to seeing him kingly in that bed, buried gold and warm in those sheets and...and…

He’ll embarrass him if he presses further, about it. He’ll guilt David more - Adam knows that he’s carrying...weight, from all of this. Knows that he’s tearing himself up and apart over what happened to him. that anything even happened to him.  
  
The dog wobbles on her long legs and leans against Adam’s own, looking up at him with curious eyes and then to David again. Observant. Her tail twitches in a wag when Adam breaks contact with David to pay attention to her.  
  
Adam rubs at his eyes a bit and just nods, biting his cheek to press back everything threatening to flood him.

He’s just tired.  
just so fucking tired.

but just maybe...

She yawns and a smile threatens his lips. 

he could finally get some sleep. 

= * =

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ;v; and the comments and kudos!


End file.
